Delirious Love

My mom came to take me to the dentist today. Even though I have moved away from home, and have been functioning fully on my own for a week and a half now, she still drove out to take me to get fillings. I didn't feel like any less of an adult (or any less of an adult-aged person who often makes ridiculous choices on weekends). As I was high on nitrous oxide and getting my teeth drilled into, I thought about how lucky I am to have a mom as wonderful as mine. I was filled with appreciation and understanding, suddenly, of how far a mother will go for her child. This may or may not have had something to do with the fact that my lovely dental assistant and my mom were discussing what limbs they would lose for their children, but regardless, I understood something new. Maybe being away from my family for a little while made me realize how much I love them.

Tea for the Tillerman

I didn't know just how happy singing makes me. I knew I missed it, and that if I didn't find some kind of way to be singing again that there would be some void in me. It does something different for me than playing violin does. For me, singing is all about community, the people I'm with, singing in a group. Violin is something I do by myself, and for myself, almost exclusively. When I was in art class in 7th grade, we were asked to do some sort of project on what made us feel like our best selves, or something to that affect. I immediately thought of violin, and running. I love sprinting. The feeling of taking everything you have and powering through it as fast as you can and leaving everything or nothing behind. I feel the same way when I play violin well. I pour whatever it is I'm feeling into Mozart or Bach and what comes out is just for me, good or bad. I sing because it joins me to people and because I love it. I play violin because I need to.

It Takes A Lot To Laugh, It Takes A Train To Cry

Things I Ask Myself Now That I'm In College:
Do staplers work on walls?
If I add the guy next door on facebook, will he come over and watch the Kathy Griffin special on Bravo with me?
Why the fuck does the sound on my laptop only work with my headphones plugged in??
If I eat alone, do people think I'm weird?
Does everyone else feel this weird, just kind of floating around feeling?
Will I be able to keep up in classes?
How do I continue to keep myself from falling off my bike?
Will there be pancakes at breakfast tomorrow?

SexyBack

This is my new life. In my new life I'm not afraid to dance with nice frat boys and no one judges me anymore because we're all here to just have a good time. Everyone here is really nice because everyone wants more friends. Everyone is here to study really hard because, hello, we're all smart, but pretty much everyone wants to party too. I feel welcome and I feel like I belong already. I'm so happy to finally be here.

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Songs that represented feelings. Entire months or stages of your life. This song will always touch me deeply and bring me back instantly to how I felt when I watched the music video, sobbing about my pre-teen heartbreak because 1) I was twelve and it was really sad and 2) because I didn't really understand that it was a protest video because I didn't really get war yet. So I still cry when I watch this video because the young love and the fact that he goes off to war both really get to me.
I feel things really strongly. My emotions, other people's emotions, it doesn't matter. Often times what I feel is misplaced, though. It takes me a while to process things, and I often use humor as a very effective defense mechanism. While I do believe that humor can be found in any situation, if I'm laughing while I would probably be better off crying, it means I'm hurting pretty bad.
I also feel a lot of righteous indignation when someone is mean to my friends or my friends are unhappy. I will ALWAYS stick up for my oldest and dearest friends, and I will always stick up for what I am truly passionate about. I am a very loyal friend, if you need me I will be there, and if you have a strange question to ask, I'm your girl. I hope that I will always feel strongly about the people and things closest to me

Teenagers

Things That Annoy and/or Bother Me:
Pretentious nitwits.
People who take things too seriously. Everything can be looked upon with at least a little humor.
People who take themselves too seriously. Really, you're not that great.
Shushers. Hello, what I'm saying is clearly more important than whatever else is going on.
Ignorant people.