I feel left out a lot. I'm an only child, I played alone as a kid, blah blah blah, whine whine whine. As my best friend would say in a very obnoxious voice that's approximately two octaves higher than my actual voice, "I'm L and I like to complain a lot!!!" But I really do feel left out. Left out of jokes, of being a "cool kid" (which don't really want to be, I just would like to be acknowledged by them), left out of being someone's one and only.
I was recently someone's one and only, but it stopped being fun, and one thing I can't do is be in a relationship when it's not fun. Any relationship. If I stopped having fun with my mom, I would disown her as a mother, but that won't ever happen. He was just too different than me, wanted all different things than I do. He likes money, I like being happy. He LOVES cars, I have never given a great horse shit about them. I would rather talk about the news than cars. I just need my car to drive smoothly, blast good music and be able to have bumper stickers on it, and past that I really don't care.
Even though the relationship wasn't right at the end there, I miss being in one sometimes. I feel more in the loop when I have a boyfriend.
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